Tuesday, January 29, 2008
POEMS to share (Part 2)
C.A.K.E
Its all but a big mistake
If you think auditing is a piece of C.A.K.E
To complete our work we need to ask, beg and threaten
To miss the deadline we’ll simply be flatten
We always say 'immaterial, suggest leave'
Because in the end it makes no diff
Now you can't document it this way
Or else your rice bowl starts to sway
Other than the above, no exceptions noted
When bonus come, we are all elated
It doesn't matter how we do
As long as our pockets are wonderFULL
Signed:
Enydan Woes
French Poet
Winner of Poolitzer Prize 2007
Disclaimer:
The above is fictional and resemblance to any works of art is purely coincidental.
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POEMS to share
Audit IS hard work
Poem 1 - Sometimes
Sometimes my working hour is short
Sometimes my working hour is long
But whenever I try to start work
The TB is always wrong
Sometimes I try to eat snake
Sometimes I try to use my brains
But however I do my work
They are still very much a pain
Sometimes my work is easy
Sometimes my work is hard
But whenever I can't balance my balance sheet
I feel like a BIG retard
Poem 2 - Off we go to Tuas
Again, it’s Monday
Time to set off to that dreaded place
5 days a week you’ll be there
however bad the Tuas food taste
You’ve brought your laptop
You’ve brought your brain
And when the day is through
It'll be in a lot of pain
No internet, no phone, no receptions
No toil, no money, no leave
All these adds up to huge tension
All pressurizing you to leave!
Of course I’m just joking
Please don’t take me seriously
With cute colleagues to go drinking
We can all stay forever happily
Signed
Nayiem Nat
Disclaimer:
The above is fictional and resemblance to any works of art is purely coincidental.
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Monday, January 28, 2008
P*C Audit Guide Section 99999
Title: The P*C Murphy's Law
Anything that can go wrong WILL go wrong.
Anything that can't go wrong WILL still go wrong.
Illustration of the Murphy's Law:
The buttered side of the toast always land on the floor.
Illustration of the P*C Murphy's Law:
The sample you select is always the exception.
The section you are in charge of is always the other leg of the 'SAD'.
If you are using IBM, please multiply probability of things gg wrong by 200%.
If you are using HP/ Dell multiply it by 400%.
Frequently Encountered Problems (FEP)
Eg1.
Lotus Notes Hanged.
Solution to FEP
Step 1: Remove battery pack
Step 2: Switch off adaptor
Step 3: Take a break.
Note:
Above solution applies for all errors encountered.
Duration of break can vary from 1 hr to 1 year depending on severity of problem encountered.
Disclaimer:
The above is purely fictional. Any resemblance to any guides is purely coincidental.
Credits to:
C*arice C*an
Signed
Nayiem Nat
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Sunday, January 13, 2008
Happy Birthday(s)!!!
Sorry for the apple pie and sundae as the alternative to a decent cake.
We promise it'll be better next time!
Happy Birthday!!
[nadyne]
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Sunday, January 06, 2008
=) Gd Luck for Peak!
Alternative would be to change what you do.. Ha.. kidding... Learn to love what you do.. (It might actually be possible!) =)
Gd luck for the peak!
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Friday, January 04, 2008
:: Happy birthday Ben!!!!! ::
Happy birthday Ben!
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Nunny and her (unripe) bananas
Question: What do you do with unripe bananas?
Answer: Put them under the light and remember to flip them every 10 mins to make sure both sides are equally ripe.
[以上生活小贴士是由泰国小辣椒呈现给您的。]
[The above tip is specially brought to you by Thai Nunny.]
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